Bonus Pitch Ep 0: Adam’s Full Goonies 2 Plot

Adam went a little overboard on his original concept for a sequel to The Goonies, giving his fellow hosts a 20 minute explanation featuring a beat by beat breakdown of his story ideas, which was severely edited for the final episode. But for the curious, here is the full 5 page synopsis:

The Goonies 2: Copperpot’s Revenge

The opening credits montage shows a man digging through the contents of an old trunk marked “Property of Norman Copperpot” and a recipient address “To: Victor Copperpot”. The montage flashes between the trunk contents and lines of a handwritten letter discussing “cursed pirate treasure”, “several expeditions”, “my father’s fortune”, “the pursuit which cost him his life”.
Items include hand drawn maps and sketches of a key, a few gold dubloons, the Astoria newspaper of Chester Coppperpot’s disappearance from the first film, a recent Astoria newspaper with headline, “Local Youths Save Town with Pirate Booty: Who Are The Goonies?”, a brochure from Astoria Tourism Board showing the pirate ship rides/tours and an old timey photo of Chester Copperpot and his son, Norman, posing in front of a chest of gold and jewels with hand written title, “Our first haul.” The final shot is a close-up on pendant hanging from Norman’s neck.
Taking place 2 years after the original film, The Goonies (Mikey, Data, Chunk and Mouth) are now Freshman in High School. Having saved the town with their bag of jewels, the kids are local heroes with local diner, “Willy’s Treasure Chest” (on the site of the old Fratelli hideout) creating the “Goonie Burger” and re-naming Rocky Road to “Chunk’s Chocolate Delight”, etc. The town now makes more money from their tourist business of people coming to see One Eyed Willy’s pirate ship that is docked in the harbor.

Sloth has been adopted by Chunk’s family, who paid for plastic surgery, which made him look like Joe Piscopo. Calling himself Steve, Sloth is now a simple minded construction worker who all the girls in town lust after. He is very shy and goofy, but strikes up a romance with a sweet waitress at the diner named Susie, who is always humming a catchy melody to herself. When asked about it, she says it’s just a song her Grandfather used to sing to her when she was a little girl.

There are various gags of Sloth being romantic in strange ways and getting love advice from old movies. Chunk is jealous of their relationship and his story involves learning to share his best friend.
Brand and Andy went away to college and there is a B-story about Mikey missing Brand and calling him on the phone for advice on how to ask a pretty girl named Tracey out. Mikey has also taken to recording his thoughts on a tape recorder, which provides some exposition along the way.
Stef stayed behind to be a waitress at the diner and The Goonies (Mouth especially) delight in torturing her with complicated orders. One day while she is asking for a tip a mysterious stranger shows up, tossing a gold dubloon matching the ones found in Willy’s ship, on the table in front of them.
Victor Copperpot is an imposing British man who wants the boys to lead him back to the caves, so that he can claim the treasure that rightfully belonged to his grandfather, Chester Copperpot. He claims to want to restore the family name, but in reality has Russian gangsters he owes money to on his trail. The Goonies refuse to help him, stating that One Eyed Willy’s treasure was on the ship and has already been used for the good of the town, there is nothing left.
Victor states that he has proof of that Copperpot and his son Norman (Victor’s father) made it out of the cave several times and have a secret stash within, the greedy children are just keeping it for themselves. He then spots Susie and they have an exchange, during which Victor spots the pendant around her neck. He recognizes it to be the same key Norman was wearing in the photograph. When Victor tries to take Susie’s necklace, Sloth/Steve shows up and scares him off.
During the scuffle, Victor had knocked Mouth’s clay sculpture for art class off the table, stepping on it while the pendant/key had fallen from Susie’s hand, leaving an impresssion. Upon retrieving the pendant, Susie explains to The Goonies that Victor is her uncle and ex-Royal Navy turned mercenary. Basically someone they should take seriously. She also says that her grandfather used to tell her stories that matched what Victor was saying, but she never thought they were real.
The group shrugs it off saying that the cave entrance should stay hidden, they are the only ones who know where it is and that they will never reveal the secret. Though their shared glances reveal that the old fireplace is under the jukebox in the diner.
Mouth is in love with his art teacher, Ms. Monaughan and asks for a private sculpting lesson after school, where he make many passes at her. She gives him a taste of his own medicine, which shows he is really scared of women. Meanwhile, Data is being pursued by an overzealous girl’s field hockey player and it constantly coming up with clever inventions to escape her advances. Mikey tries to ask out Tracey, who he thinks is above him, but after several failed attempts using Brand’s advice, finds out she suffers from Asthma too and loves rock climbing. So he decides to be himself and wins her over.
Victor goes to visit the Fratelli’s in prison to see if they will cooperate. Ma Fratelli and Jake have been transferred to other prisons, but Francis is game to help get revenge on The Goonies. Victor reveals everything he learned from his recently deceased father’s trunk regarding the Copperpot stash.
He explains that according to Norman Copperpot’s journal, he watched his own father be crushed by One Eyed Willy’s booby traps and it was he who got out with the map and “triple stones” skull key. Norman lived a disgraced life as the son of a “lunatic failure”, which always haunted Victor and led to him moving away to England at age 17.

Hoping to keep his children from dying in pursuit of the treasure themselves, Norman donated the map to the town historical society and hid it in the picture frame. Victor only figured this out recently when his father died and he received his belongings as Norman’s next of kin.
Victor agrees to help Francis break out of jail and give him part of the loot if he will reveal the location of the entrance. Francis tells him that it’s in the fireplace in the old restaurant, which is has been renovated and is now called “Willy’s Treasure Chest”. Victor breaks out Francis that night and tasks him with getting the pendant/key from Susie, which he does in a goofy cat-burglar scene.

Victor and Francis then break into “Willy’s Treasure Chest”, but upon finding the door to the stash, realize through a hand scrawled limerick on the door that there is a melody that must be sung in conjunction with the turning of the key. Victor remembers Susie humming a tune when he visited the diner and plans with Francis to kidnap her.
Upon capturing Susie, Victor reveals that he has betrayed Francis by calling the cops on him as a diversion from the kidnapping. Francis is left in the dust, but manages to make a getaway before the cops arrive. On the run, he bumps into Sloth/Steve who was bicycling to Susie’s house to pick her up for a date. Francis doesn’t recognize his brother at first, but Sloth/Steve knows him and a notices her grandfather’s watch which Francis stole during the cat-burglar scene. Putting 2 and 2 together, Sloth forcefully drags Francis out to see The Gooonies, who are having a campout.

Sloth suspends Francis from a tree, as The Goonies cover him with honey to attract bears. Francis eventually reveals the whole plot when a sound he thinks is a bear is heard in the distance, which turns out to be Mikey playing back some audio recorded earlier of Mr. Walsh snoring at a slower speed and rattling some bushes. They then take off for the diner to stop Victor, Francis for the bears.

Victor forcibly takes Susie to diner and moves the jukebox to reveal the opening to the cave. Meanwhile The Goonies are furiously riding their bikes towards the diner, when they come up on Stef driving a truck full of crabs in the same direction. They convince her to give them a ride.
Just then we see some ominous silhouettes land on the Astoria shoreline.
Victor is forcing Susie to sing the Melody at gunpoint, but she is too upset to carry the tune. The Goonies arrive and make their way to the cave opening to chase after Victor. Susie manages to hold the melody and they enter the vault. Just as The Goonies arrive the door closes and after multiple tries they realize that they do not have the key. Even Sloth/Steve is not strong enough to break it down.
Disheartened Mouth drops his backpack and out tumbles his sculpture with the key imprint. Data pulls out his secret “Metal Juice” and makes an instant cast of the key. Then they try to sing the melody, but none of The Goonies can hold a tune or can’t remember it.
Inside the Vault, Victor has tied up Susie and found a trunk full of jewels and gold. He blows a hole in the cavern wall with dynamite, revealing Willy’s pirate ship below. He shoots out a zipline into the ship’s deck and send the trunk down first. Next he loads up Susie for a wild ride.
With the boys unable to sing the magic song, Stef finally gets impatient and says, “This is how the stupid song goes!” and she carries it long enough for the door to open. Just as they enter The Goonies see Victor sliding down the zipline himself. Stef runs off the call the police, while the boys discuss their options.
Hearing Susie scream, Sloth/Steve runs out to his old room/cell where he was kept in the first film and grabs the chains that once bound him. He bursts back into the room and makes a jump for the zipline. Chunk jumps after him in an attempt to stop the plunge, but ends up being carried by Sloth/Steve on the way down as Victor cuts the zipline and lifts the anchor, launching the ship. Sloth/Steve and Chuck swing wildly into the crow’s nest as the ship takes off.
Mikey, Mouth and Data are dumbfounded. It is then that they notice the timed explosive with 1:30 left on it. Data announces that he has his “Wind Wings”, a hang glider apparatus. As Stef goes to use the phone, she is stopped by a honey-drenched, Francis who grabs her back into the cave with him.
After Mouth and Mikey argue against trusting the wind wings, they decide it is better than being blown up and make the jump just as Stef and Francis arrive. As the trio careen wildly off balance through the skies, the madman and his captive look out the opening at the action below, spot the bomb and run for their lives.
Mikey, Mouth and Data plummet towards the ship when one of Data’s wings breaks off from the extra weight. As the mountain and restaurant explode in the background, they land in a hanging net and are captured, only spectators as to what’s to come.
Francis and Stef jump for their lives as the restaurant explodes. She runs for the van, but Francis catches up to her and forces her to drive him to the shore to chase after the boat. He explains that he is less upset with the kids now and wants more revenge on Victor.
On the ship, Victor still has Susie tied up. Sloth/Steve jumps down from the Crow’s nest onto a loose board which flies up and knocks him out. Victor is about to shoot him, but Data uses his pinchers of power to grab the gun. Unfortunately the pull back is too powerful and the gun flies out into the ocean. Looking over the edge, Victor sees the Russians in a motorboat and panics. He tells them that he has the money, but they tell him time is up.
Just then Sloth/Steve wakes up and comes at Victor with a pirate sword, but he uses Susie as a human shield. He backs over to the other side of the boat, only to see Francis and Stef in another motor boat. Realizing he is surrounded he gets desperate and threatens to throw Susie off the plank.
Chunk sees the pain in Sloth/Steve’s eyes and jumps down onto the loose board where the treasure trunk has slid and launches it out of the boat onto the Francis/Stef motorboat, the weight of which launches the 2 of them into the pirate ship. Francis says, ”thanks for the gun” and starts to struggle with Victor, who let’s Susie go into the arms of Sloth/Steve. Victor gets the gun and points it at Francis, but Sloth/Steve stomps on the loose board again to save his brother, launching Victor into the vacated motorboat with the Treasure Chest.
In disbelief, Victor realizes he has won and starts to celebrate. Stef lowers Mikey, Mouth and Data from the net and The Goonies tell the Russians that Victor is getting away. In pursuit, Victor shoots at The Russians’ boat, which they dodge and makes them madder. The Russians eventually catch up and bump the back of his boat, launching the Treasure chest and gun back onto the Pirate ship and Victor into their boat. The Russians salute The Goonies as they drag Victor off into the night with terror in his eyes.
The Goonies celebrate, but then Francis then turns on all the kids with the gun and tries to take the treasure for himself in an instant inflatable raft he found on the ship. Francis then steps on the loose board which conks him in the head, causing him to drop the trunk back on the board and launches him out into the raft below. The gun sinks into the ocean.

Just then the dawn breaks as The Goonies adrift at sea. The coast guard shows up and approaches Francis to apprehend him. Chunk opens the treasure chest and finds a ring atop all the treasure. He gives it to Sloth/Steve who uses it to propose to Susie and everybody celebrates.

The final shot is a wedding ceremony on the re-docked pirate ship with everybody in formal wear for a Jewish style wedding. Brand and Annie are also there to join in on the occasion. Mikey, Data and Mouth are all there with their love interests as dates and Chunk is Sloth/Steve’s best man.

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